The River
by Vol lady
Summary: Inspiration is like a river – you go where it takes you, even if the destination breaks your heart. TISSUE WARNING


The River

The soft breeze coming in the window made the lace curtains dance and made her roll over and lay her arm across her husband's chest. He smiled but did not open his eyes. She kissed him and he smiled even more. "Good morning," she said.

He drew her close and kissed her again. "Good morning," he said. "Please tell me that you don't want to get up just yet."

"I thought I'd stay right where I am for a while."

"Mmmm…" he said happily.

She lay her head on his shoulder and rubbed his chest, feeling every muscle. He rubbed her shoulder gently and ran his fingers through her hair. His breathing was relaxed, even, deep.

He had not opened his eyes, but she had not closed hers. Looking around this room, this unfamiliar place that was now her home, she thought about how fast her whole life had turned around. A month ago, she hadn't even met this man. Now they were married, moved into his home, snuggling up to each other in what was his bed but was now theirs. And God, she loved him so instantly and so much that she could hardly believe it. Nearly thirty years old and unmarried, she was certain she would never find the right man for her, and then suddenly there he was. And now here he was, next to her, holding her, loving her for the rest of their lives together.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, still not opening his eyes.

"Oh, everything," she said. "How I shouldn't be here."

Now he opened his eyes and looked at her. "What do you mean, you shouldn't be here?"

"Life was taking me in another direction, to another town, to a job I was thrilled to be going to but – alone," she said. "And now, in just a heartbeat, it all changed when I saw you."

"And when I saw you," he said gently. "I've been looking for you my whole life, you know. I wonder how many times I missed you, just by a hair? I wonder how hard the good Lord had to work to make sure we found each other?"

She laughed, that musical laugh he just loved. "We are two headstrong people, aren't we? We don't just let the river carry us along and leave us ashore wherever it may. We tend to paddle like crazy."

He laughed. He loved how her turn of phrase was often so poetic, how the images she described were so real and so magical at the same time. "Sometimes we paddle so hard we miss where we're supposed to be. But we are where we're supposed to be now. I hope you never regret where the river brought you."

"Oh, no, never," she said and kissed him. "Nothing has ever felt so right to me."

He rolled toward her, kissing her, feeling her body against his and he let the river take him away now. She went right along with him as the breeze coming in the window captured their sighs just like the river captured their love.

He awoke with a start. The darkness was so heavy it crushed every bit of the dream right out of his arms. He reached for her, but she wasn't there. "No!" he yelled. "No!"

He scrambled like crazy, trying to find her. She was here. She was just here.

"No!"

In a moment, he felt strong hands take hold of him. "Jarrod, wake up," a deep voice said firmly but quietly. "You're dreaming, Pappy. Wake up."

Jarrod opened his eyes and saw his brother Nick leaning over him. Nick let go when sense began to come back into his older brother's eyes, but Nick's heart broke when it did. He could see the reality settle in with the sense. He could see the blue eyes lose their panic but fall into grief so intense Nick could hardly stand it.

"It's over, Jarrod," Nick said. "You're all right. It's over."

Jarrod looked around the room in the dim morning light. It wasn't his room – their room. It was a strange room in a strange hotel. For a moment he didn't remember where he was. Then his brother Heath appeared next to Nick, both of them looking down at him like he was so fragile he was about to break.

And maybe he was. He remembered. He remembered his wife.

"Oh – " he half sighed, half moaned, and closed his eyes. Everything was too real now, too real to bear. The river. The river had washed him ashore into a massive pile of rocks and left him there to die, while it carried her away forever.

He went to wipe the sweat off his forehead and found the bandage instead. He dropped his arm to his side. He wanted more than anything to go back to the dream, or failing that he wanted to cry, cry like a baby and never stop. He couldn't do either one. Neither one would come.

Nick suddenly had a glass of water in his hand. He lifted Jarrod's head. "Here, drink some of this."

Jarrod pushed it away, and Nick let his head down. Jarrod just lay there with his eyes closed, unwilling to see the reality around him, unable to dream a better one.

"Beth – " he whispered.

Nick and Heath looked at each other, seeing in each other the tears that belonged to Jarrod but that he couldn't claim yet. Nick put the glass of water down on the night table and rubbed the wetness from his face.

The soft breeze coming in the window made the lace curtains dance.

The End


End file.
